i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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