i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
