I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
