You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
