He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
