i would punch a child for taco bell
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
