Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
