It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
my poor anus
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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