no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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