Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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