where am i from again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
