The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
