If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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