So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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