we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
