Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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