I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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