Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
