Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
