They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
