so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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