he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
