Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
