Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
