I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is the high leading the old right now
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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