i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize