Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So much Jack, so little girl.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
