OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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