I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
