Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
