She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
