After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Never underestimate the power of titties
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
