he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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