ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize