So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
