Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
