Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think people are normalizing furries
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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