drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
