So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
