Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
