I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
