I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
