just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
