my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
