Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
