Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
