we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
