I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
