After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
