i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
