im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
