I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just found puke in my bra..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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