those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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