i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
