so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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