Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
