every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
