Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
