What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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