i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
