Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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