My liver just broke up with me...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Randomize
